and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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