I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
