I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
