I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
