ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
