He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
