So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
