He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
