Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
only you would photoshop your dick
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
