is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
