Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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