i would punch a child for taco bell
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
