Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
