I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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