i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
