Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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