just come out here and I will go home with you...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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