dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Someone signed my nipple.
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