I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
