he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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