Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
