In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
