The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Text me some of your sweat
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
