dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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