My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
