I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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