see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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