5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
