Sponge bath it is.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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