p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I could fuck to npr.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
