The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
