Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
