Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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