I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
