She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
