Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
