quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
