Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
