are you so shy because you have an std?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
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You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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