Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
