Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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