it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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