I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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