how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
