the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
