I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
