I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
