You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
