the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize