in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize