The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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