i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
