his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
