Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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