his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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