Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
