so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
