He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
