i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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