I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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