my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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